May 16, 2013
May has been one heck of a month. I’ve been incredibly busy – which is a
good GREAT thing for my business, but if I’m being completely honest with all of you – it’s a lot to handle sometimes, especially when I was thrown curveball after curveball in my personal life, too. May’s calendar had 3 out of the 4 weekends booked with weddings, plus a few shoots during the week (did I mention I still work full-time Monday through Friday as a Web Designer?). I knew coming into this month that making the transition from the slower off-season into the craziness of wedding season was going to be tough… on my mind, body, but mostly my soul. I had nearly a week straight of mental breakdowns, mini-anxiety attacks, and second-guessing thoughts of myself in every way possible. Do I really want to do this the rest of my life? I need to remember to email this client. Can I handle it? Why are my photos so awful? I need to follow-up with that vendor. Why aren’t my photos as good as photographer X? I need to get through 6000 photos in the next 4 hours.
I had a very vivid dream the other night. I got into an elevator, pressed every single button to go to every single floor, and as each button lit up one by one illuminating the dim, quiet space, the elevator stood achingly still. Until it suddenly went wildly and uncontrollably crashing down. No matter how many buttons I pressed and no matter what I did to try and make it stop, the elevator kept plummeting faster, and faster, and faster until it inevitably hit bottom.
Then something amazing happened. I emerged from the destroyed elevator unscathed, unphased, and unaffected—like nothing ever happened. I pushed my way through the collapsed elevator walls, manually pried open the double doors with my bare hands, and stepped out of the broken down elevator one step at a time, one foot in front of the other amidst all the dust and debris. What was most memorable about the dream was my mindset after the huge crash. I merely shrugged it off and kept moving forward. The timing of this dream, the meaning of it, the ending of it… it couldn’t have been a more clear sign that maybe I take on too much sometimes or try to do too many things at once, which inevitably causes me a great deal of stress (which I’m sure everyone can relate to at one point or another), but in the end, everything is alright, I can push through anything, and I always survive.
So instead of focusing on the stressful things in life that bring me down, I’m choosing to focus on everything that is good, positive, and healthy.
1. My family. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful, supportive, and loving family that is always there for me. I think I’ve taken it for granted in the past and thought everyone had family like this – but I’m starting to realize as I get older that I am truly blessed in this department.
2. My boyfriend. My rock. My even-keel, steady, dependable rock. He keeps me sane, he keeps me laughing, and he keeps me standing when everything else is trying to knocking me down.
3. My friends. Although all of our hectic schedules and current living situations might not allow us to see each other as much as we’d like, no matter how much time passes between visits, when we do get together it’s like we never missed a beat.
4. My thriving business. If you would have told me my business would be where it is now just 1 year ago, I would have never believed you. I’m connecting with new clients, vendors, and industry peers every single day; I met and exceeded my goal of booking 10+ weddings this year, and I’m so excited this is the direction my life is heading.
5. My health. While I may not get the opportunity to work out as much as I’d like or eat as healthy as I should, I’m alive, I’m active, and I’m well. And as one of my clients told me the other day, “life is a gift.”